I’m out of line; I’m warped and bent;
I owe the landlord for my rent;
I wear the most engaging frown;
I am the meanest man in town.
I twist kids’ arms to hear them scream;
I steal the smallest babies’ cream;
I pull flies’ wings off when I can;
The county holds no meaner man.
I garden–I will tell you why:
So plants can suffer when it’s dry;
I cage birds so they cannot mate;
No meaner man lives in the state.
I’m only up when you are down;
I love to watch small kittens drown–
And I have been this way sinqe birth–
I am the meanest man on earth.
I laugh when other’s lives are done:
I go to funerals for fun.
For meanness, try and find one worse
Than I in all the universe.
Of all God’s creatures who are hissed,
I, maybe, can make folks the maddest.
Here, high up on the Devil’s list,
Of all sad things, I am the sadist.
by Ray Romine Wednesday, February 11, 1953
