I am lousy at badminton,
Teamed up or solo;
Not much good at tennis,
And worse yet at polo;
I’m too old for baseball,
Or football or hockey,
And with this overweight,
Couldn’t sit as a jockey;
I have won me no battles
In rings or outside them;
Curling, jai a-lai and cricket–
I haven’t yet tried them.
Who watches me fly-cast
Risks straining a gusset,
And as for my bowling,
Please let’s not discuss it.
Yet I have me one asset
This true fan is prizing:
In any sport you may name,
I’m a whiz at advising.
by Ray Romine Friday, February 8, 1952
