Did you ever raise a mustache?
What I mean is–did you try?
If it grew up into manhood
You’re a better man than I.
For my grandma raised the dickens–
Then my aunt she jumped on me,
And the things they called that mustache
Aren’t fit to print, you see.
“Fuzz upon the upper lip” and
“Dirty spot upon your face”
“Brush pile”,”mole”, & “misplaced eyebrow”
(Naming some not quite so base)
But I grinned & took it meekly
Til one day my wife declared,
“I am going home to mother
Til your upper lip you’ve bared.”
I gave up and so my mustache
Finally met its Weterloo
When I took the razor to it–
What the heck else could I do?
If you want to raise a mustache
Best prepare then for the worst:
Take advice from one who tried it–
Make yourself a hermit first!
by Ray Romine Friday, September 13, 1935
