I’m gonna write a LENGTHY rhyme,
If ever I do find the time;
A poem long is so impressive–
For added words are more expressive.
The reason our dear Senator
No milk-man is, or janitor?
Because he learned that lengthy talk
Will off with speaking laurels walk;
That many words will surely cover
Errors of one kind or uvver.
The radio has evidenced
A truth we long ago had sensed:
The more they talk (howe’er it smells)
About a product, the more it sells;
The guy who wins the argument
Is the one still talking when the other’s spent.
Verse abbreviated, dinky,
Folks are apt to label stinky–
An appellation we must avoid,
Else we get the boot and boid.
My motto, it has always been,
When wrestling with my fevered pen:
If terseness be the soul of wit,
Let’s say it and get over it;
(Which has done no good at all–
Brought no success that I recall)
That’s why I’m gonna write a verse
That won’t be brief and it won’t be terse;
It may be weak, or it could be strong–
But I full well know it’ll be good and long;
It may be poor and it may lack strength,
But I’m sure of this, it WILL have length;
It may take months or years, or ages–
At least, it’ll cover many pages;
Flaccid and seedy, perhaps, in spots,
But of it, you bet, there’ll sure be lots,
And. oodles and piles and gobs and scads,
And stacks and handfuls and pecks and wads;
Attenuated it may seem,
Like a long-drawn-out unwelcome dream,
But the thinner it is the farther it goes,
Or just the reverse of milady’s hose.
The public would flay, and loathe, and shell it,
But they can’t read it if I can’t sell it?
With lengthy poems, lengthy speeches,
We mean to fool our fellow-creeches;
Because of their interminable tedium,
The critics don’t take time to redium!
So if the time I ever find,
I’ll write an 8-page epic, mind;
I’ll write a verse from here to Guinea;
Do you really think ’twill help me inea?
Of course, there’s tricks in how you place ’em–
SOME poets always TRIPLE-SPACE ‘EM!!
But I don’t stoop to tricks like that,
Or am I spouting through my hat?
Before I wrlte too long a verse,
I’d better sell a SHORT ONE, FERSE!
by Ray Romine Sunday, May 2, 1943
