Category: Personal Care

Posted on by

Shaving Talk

I always thought I was a good-natured guy
With all of my cuss-words quite saving;
But to shave off the whiskers and have someone talk
While you’re doing it calls for some raving.

For where is the man who can razor his pan
With his face muscles all misbehaving?
I’ve tried it and can’t, and that’s why I rant:
“Oh, don’t talk to me while I’m shaving.”

To prove what I say, try me any old way:
Scatter tacks out in front on my paving;
Put ink in my toothbrush or salt in my tea,
But don’t talk to me while I’m shaving!

by Ray Romine Saturday, September 8, 1934

Posted on by

Shaving

Now as a man I always thought
I’d far the worst of things.
For I thought sure there was nothing worse
Than the mood that shaving brings.

Yes, I used to swear when I cut myself
And boil if the razor failed.
But after my aunt got hold of me
The horror of these things paled.

For she gave me a facial treatment then,
A-killing me inch by inch
And I’ll swear no more at shoving, for
I know NOW a man has a cinch!

–inspired by Helen Romine [sister-in-law]

by Ray Romine Friday, September 22, 1933

Posted on by

On Raising La Moustache

Did you ever raise a mustache?
What I mean is–did you try?
If it grew up into manhood
You’re a better man than I.

For my grandma raised the dickens–
Then my aunt she jumped on me,
And the things they called that mustache
Aren’t fit to print, you see.

“Fuzz upon the upper lip” and
“Dirty spot upon your face”
“Brush pile”,”mole”, & “misplaced eyebrow”
(Naming some not quite so base)

But I grinned & took it meekly
Til one day my wife declared,
“I am going home to mother
Til your upper lip you’ve bared.”

I gave up and so my mustache
Finally met its Weterloo
When I took the razor to it–
What the heck else could I do?

If you want to raise a mustache
Best prepare then for the worst:
Take advice from one who tried it–
Make yourself a hermit first!

by Ray Romine Friday, September 13, 1935