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No Picnic

We leave a comfy, screened-in flat
To fight mosquito, fly and gnat.
Forsaking chairs and table, we
Squat on the ground beneath a tree
And try, with feeble laugh and quip
To transport food from lap to lip.

{Have dry-ice planes, I wonder, tried7
For when it rains, we eat inside.}
(alternate:)
{Oh for a plane and dry-ice! I’d
Much prefer to eat inside.}

by Ray Romine Tuesday, June 20, 1950

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No Match

I can but reflect, as the new cars pass,
So smart, so bright, so efficient,
What a shame the drivers aren’t half , alas,
As smart, as bright, as efficient.

by Ray Romine Saturday, September 10, 1949

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No Mystery

That haze blamed on poor Mauna Loa!
With our blame we should go a bit sloa,
For it’s sure that the haze
Is but part of the daze
That man walks around in–no moa.

by Ray Romine Thursday, June 15, 1950

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No Matter How You Spell It

I do not care tor dark brunettes,
Or p’roxide blondes (or lemon);
A sharp analysis will show
That I am off of wemon.

In order to economize,
My budget I am trimming .
Which thing cannot be done without
Eliminating wimming.

Besides the dough, think what I’ll save
In spleen, through being human:
On my two feet a MAN again–
0 Grief, thy name is wuman!

by Ray Romine Sunday, March 20, 1949

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No Love Song

Sing not a song of love to me,
And still less one of babies;
That wheeze, “To be, or not to be”
No longer is a mysteree:
Poor Hamlet must’ve been a dad–
You think that’s good? I think it’s bad–
I’d rather have the rabies.

But since you’re young, and WON’T be told,
Before full many a year hence,
You’ll be a “VERY PROUD” Pa-PA–
You say that’s good? I say “Ha-HA!”
For then without a doubt you’ll find
(A little late to change your mind)
How FINAL is EXPER-YENCE!

Written at breakfast…

by Ray Romine Saturday, May 8, 1943

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No Living American On Even A Postage Stamp!

We look for signs of greatness in our age:
We scan each face, and look into each heart.
(‘Tis fun to praise, but more to tear apart.)
As probing takes us to the printed page,
The work of scholar, journalist, or sage,
Or bust by sculptor, or some pictured art–
We shake our heads: it’s not conformed to chart;
It fits perhaps the world, but not its gauge.

And then yon found a work so far ahead,
It stood above all others round about.
“But hold–this man is living still, you said.
So this our scale; We cannot highly tout
A man, nor call him great until he’s dead.
No immortal, he, who lives to find it out!

by Ray Romine Sunday, November 21, 1943

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No Large Economy Size!

Now some say that two can live cheaply as one.
While they are returning to earth, it
Would be well to say
Families cost, and you’ll pay–
But most of us think they are worth it.

by Ray Romine Saturday, November 25, 1950