Category: Marriage

When suddenly I found myself
Fed up with single life,
I started out in hot pursuit
To catch myself a wife.
I came out of the dizzy whirl
A slightly punch-drunk groom,
And never have quite figured out
Just who was chasing whom!

by Ray Romine Tuesday, August 7, 1951

She takes her popcorn up to bed,
Her apples, books, and magazines,
So, quite well read, and better fed,
Possessed of every way and means,
She’s set for flood or light housekeeping
(For anything, that is, but sleeping.)

by Ray Romine Thursday, March 23, 1950

I scarcely notice it anymore
When I lie down on an apple core;
And popcorn punching into my side
I take, I flatter myself, in stride.
I manage wholeheartedly to ignore,
Pop bottles and peach seeds when I would snore.
Foreign objects do not inspire
A rage in me when I retire.
I sleep in the gutter, you think? Instead
I am victimized. My wife eats in bed!

(written at 4 AM from a twin bed’s wife’s note)

by Ray Romine Wednesday, August 11, 1954

Ah, comes the spring
When birds are nesting,
And father’s done
With winter resting.
He’ll wrestle awnings,
No holds barred;
He’ll hang the screens,
Clean up the yard,
And paint the porch,
And trim the trees,
And wish with every
Balmy breeze
Himself unmarried,
Free to sit–
And never mean
A word of it!

by Ray Romine Saturday, October 14, 1950

If there is something you can’t control,
Condone it!
If there’s a law that restricts your sould,
Disown it.

For marriage now is an old fashioned thing,
A relic;
Replace it with “Let’s you and I have a fling–“
(Angelic?)

If you’ve a sin which has been your goal,
Go to it–
You’d like to upset the gold-fish bowl?
Why, DO it!

If any sin gets beyond our reach–
(Let’s face it:)
Will God stand by and see us each
Embrace it?

You can dress it up in a fancy name
That’s tony–
However slicked, it is staill the same
Baloney.

No some think freedom and liberty
Mean unrestricted license for you and me;

But, if you don’t mind, I fear that I
Will stay thew same old-fashioned guy.

by Ray Romine Sunday, January 16, 1944

I used to read my paper
With my breakfast every morn;
But now that I am married,
It’s a practice viewed with scorn,
For the girls have this in common,
Live they east, west, north or south:
They have no a.m. eye for news
When they possess a mouth!

by Ray Romine Wednesday, September 10, 1952

Who thinks that marriage is for two
Will live to pitch a little rue.

Besides the Brave (I mean!) and Squaw,
There are the frowning Mothers-in-law.

Around the necks of both some nooses
Hang, in form much like papooses.

And one must pay or else one parries
The man who mkes the bow and arries.

Let’s not forget the buck whose palm
Demands the rent for his wigwam.

Yes, many are the folks who’ll swamp ’em
With their hands held out for wampum.

When one is hitched, the time for squawking
Is past–prepare for tomahawking.

by Ray Romine Monday, September 25, 1950

He ‘s a shot from a cannon;
A bolt from the blue;
He even moves quickly
When there’s work to do.

At fixing a faucet
Or building a shelf
He’s a thirty-day wonder;
He’s lightning itself.

Who is always on time
To board busses with ease?
If he’s catching a plane,
Who is on schedule? He’s.

And he is consistent
With his speed and punch:
He slows down so swiftly
When I announce lunch.

by Ray Romine Sunday, February 10, 1952

Fast women and slow horses
Cause daily divorces;

Some couples bicker
Over liquor;

Still others’ quarrels
Revolve around morals;

A few, drop the “Honey”
Because of money–

But here are you and I without
A thing in common to argue about!

by Ray Romine Tuesday, September 17, 1946

Her being Boss is my wife’s passion,
Herself a slave, of course, to fashion.

by Ray Romine Saturday, June 10, 1950