Category: Marriage

Headline: Hasty marriages, etc, etc .

With all my goods I thee endow;
And we shall live in clover.
I to matrimony bow–
I am a finished rover.
Uncross your fingers, dear, for now
The ceremony ‘s over!

OR:

HE:
With all my goods I thee endow;
And we shall live in clover.
I to matrimony bow–
I am a finished rover.

SHE:
I have no regret- –
You’re the best I could get–
For things are tough all over.

by Ray Romine Thursday, February 15, 1945

He little suspects,
Who wants to play house,
She’ll be the housewife–
He’ll be the mouse.

by Ray Romine Wednesday, September 19, 1951

The man will say,
Who’s been a groom,
His mind’s made up–
But not by whom.

by Ray Romine Monday, October 2, 1950

Be sure I’m joking, gentle one,
For, down through ten long years,
You’ve earned you six or eight fur coats
With sweat, and blood, and tears!

by Ray Romine Saturday, November 6, 1943

Nothing you say has so little to it
That your wife can’t manage to misconstrue it.

by Ray Romine Friday, September 22, 1950

There is a tavern in the town,
And they dispense the hop there;
But because of one small female’s frown,
I do not often stop there.

The drugstore has my smoke, indeed,
But since it makes her fret less
When I renounce the pleasure-weed,
You find me cigaretteless.

Somehow I think my whopping ton
Of troubles would be weightless,
And the merchants prosper, had this one
Stayed entirely mateless.

by Ray Romine Thursday, July 3, 1952

She likesther bedroom heated,
While he, the hardy hero,
Must have is window open
Even when it’s zero.

But in the living room below,
Long before retiring,
The Master wasn’t warm enough;
The Mistress was perspiring.

My point may have been made before,
But it will bear repeating:
Just like pudding, marriage finds
The proof is in the ‘eating.

by Ray Romine Wednesday, October 31, 1951

From dawn until dinner with duster and soaps
She’s scrubbed and she’s labored until the whole house
Is so clean it sparkles. She entertains hopes
It just might be noticed this once by her spouse!

by Ray Romine Sunday, June 22, 1952

Husbands aren’t ever routed
Half so much as they’re out-shouted.

by Ray Romine Sunday, December 3, 1950

I have a mind of my own, I do–
And if I were single I’d use it, too.

by Ray Romine Tuesday, January 2, 1951