Category: Manners

I know his face, and blush in shame.
Since I appraise and closely scan him,
And still cannot recall his name,
I’ll have to “How-are-you-old-man” him.

by Ray Romine Wednesday, June 14, 1950

While he who takes a little flyer
With truth risks being called a liar,
Who fibs politely finds his act
Referred to with respect as tact.

by Ray Romine Saturday, October 7, 1950

There Is Pardon Me, Thank You, and Please,
And Keeping Mum at Table–
Our kiddies are absorbing these
As well as they are able.

There’s Not Throw Food, and After You;
There’s May I, and Excuse me;
And I’ll Not Pout if I Can’t Do,
Or Mother should refuse me.

Sometimes, this father wants to say,
They’ll NEVER learn, and yet
THESE are the parents who’ll–one day–
Teach THEIR kids etiquettcl

by Ray Romine Saturday, September 20, 1952

I forget my wife’s age–but remember her birthdays;
I praise her fine points–but ignore what her girth stays;
Anniversaries seldom, if ever, get by me;
From the social amenities you cannot pry me.
But for genuine thoughtfulness I’m Just in training
Beside who buys his raincoat when it isn’t raining!

I’m a great one to compliment my hostess on
The height of her salad, the looks of her lawn;
I’m good at “forgive me”, and “I beg your pardon”,
And I’ve nothing but nice things to say of her garden.
Still I have of longheadednees only an inkling
To who calls the roof-man when it isn’t sprinkling.

With whatever profundity I prowl the town,
A drizzle will catch me with storm signals down,
So am I far-sighted?–can you thus define me
When the smallest of showers can so undermine me?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I must see a fella- –
IT S RAINING!!–who’ll sell me a leak-proof umbrella?

by Ray Romine Wednesday, September 5, 1945

“Congratulations on that baby-girl,”
I said, and saw his fore-head lines uncurl.
The world a little of its worry lost–
A kind word does so much for all the cost!

by Ray Romine Tuesday, October 22, 1946

Daughter’s learning how to chew
With silent mouth, as grown-ups do.
She has her battle nearly won,
But eating isn’t half the fun!

by Ray Romine Thursday, November 3, 1949

I personally abhor the guy who pulls his car out in
front o’ ya;
Then, when you beep at his idiocy, he looks injured as if
to say What have I dunta ya?

Talk about fools rushing in where angels fear to tread,
Why he’ll try to put an Eight-cylinder maroon paint-job
into a space that wouldn’t decently accomodate our
daughter’s trundle-bed.

And as for that wheeze about giving him an inch and he’ll take a yard–
He not only does, but has learned to do it with a Gangway,
it’s MY street, pard. Or should I say bard?

Lots of faith is what it takes:
HIS faith is a monstrous thing, considering the condition
of my brakes.

You may not agree but all the same
I think ‘higher’ education is to blame:

In present-day colleges,
Instead of absorbing knowledges,

Your student spends months mastering a game known as basketball,
in which the other side is wrecked
By his squeezing himself through holes you couldn’t push an ice-pick through, and being called a ‘forward’ for years, so what can you expect?

by Ray Romine Friday, January 28, 1944

We’ve some friends who’re wonders on current events;
They’ re lousy with talents and natural bents;
They are witty and funny- -a whole hippodrome;
They know everything, yes, except when to go home.

by Ray Romine Saturday, June 24, 1950

You think it’s funny? ..Very?
Please shake with silent laughter;
We paid to hear this show, you know–
Let’s save the noise for after.

by Ray Romine Friday, March 11, 1949

Frankness is a virtue
I much admire, but drat me!
I ask that you don’t point it
Too directly at me .

by Ray Romine Tuesday, October 10, 1950