Category: Limerick

They say that when Robinson Crusa
Met up with a healthy Medusa,
Instead of the shakes
At sight of her snakes,
He gushed, “I should like to seduoa.”

by Ray Romine Friday, July 28, 1944

There once lived a miser from Marion
Who subsisted entirely on carrion
Til one day he tried cake,
Which he just couldn’t take,*
And I think maybe that’s him they’re buryin’.

*or:

Which he had his wife bake,
or
Which turned out a mistake,

by Ray Romine Saturday, October 12, 1946

One day, when his innards felt lanky,
Twain wrote “A Connecticut Yankee”.
The wolf at the door
Lammed as never before,
But he covered his nose with his hanky!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Said a writer, one Samuel Clemens,
“No more of these hawin’s and hemmin’s:
It’s ‘Mark Twain’ I’ll sign
To the good stuff of mine–
My OWN name I’ll hang on the lemons!”

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In a lobby, while writing “Tom Sawyer”,
Twain avoided a fast-talking lawyer.
“Although I’ve been burned,”
He exclaimed, “I have learned
At least to beware of the foyer.”

by Ray Romine Tuesday, September 19, 1944

Grandpappy says his life and limb
Are worth more than his pride is to him.
That’s why, come rainy nights,
He still won’t flash his brights
When the guy who’s approaching won’t dim!

by Ray Romine Friday, April 2, 1954

A man with the hook-worm from Britton
Was always forever just sittin’.
Til he got him a tack
In his nethermost back,
And now he ain’t sittin’, he’s flittin’

by Ray Romine Wednesday, August 4, 1948

A gent from up north, name of Santa,
Takes off amid horseplay* and banta.
For all of this splash
Who will put out the cash?
I can make me a sort of guess, canta?

*S. Claus protests this should be “deerplay”.

by Ray Romine Friday, December 1, 1950

The planes and ships sent to Korea
May do far more good theah than heah.
While words don’t mean a thing
To Big Joe the Red King,
Force is still something to feah.

by Ray Romine Wednesday, June 28, 1950

John took his Duroc to the fair,
And won a huge blue ribbon there;
But it made the sav snooty,
Who told him, “Look, cutey,
It’s more than that I’ll need to wear!”

by Ray Romine Thursday, April 1, 1954

The hired man, pinched in town, said, “It’s true
It was tea I was sipping, not brew.”
“Tea, is it?” said Clancy,
Well, me club Is real fancy–
Would you like it with one lump, or two?”

by Ray Romine Thursday, April 1, 1954

Zeb’s cow, so the anecdote goes,
Had a two-headed calf, and side-shows
Came around. Zeb elated?
Not he, for he stated,
“Will he eat twice as much, do you s’pose?”

by Ray Romine Thursday, April 1, 1954