Category: Home Life

The home we bought in ’32
Has still a stout and sturdy flue.
The windows fit; the roof is good;
The woodwork’s gum (the joists are wood);
All taxes paid–no law-suits bind it,
And is it shrubbed? Just try and find it!

But now the thing is nearly paid for,
Let’s look and see what we can trade for.
The old house has some lovely traits–
But a mortgage is what fascinates!

by Ray Romine Monday, April 23, 1945

The housewife, aproned, dust-cap girt,
Chases madly after dirt;
Her spouse, back bent in eager toil,
Terms the same stuff garden soil;
To sister, going on sixteen,
It’s something better left unseen;
While hardest hit is Junior; gosh ,
It’s what makes him have to wash!

by Ray Romine Thursday, June 28, 1951

Over ways to heat a house,
Let who will wax pensive.
Me, I find ’em every one
Entirely too ex-pensive.

by Ray Romine Wednesday, December 27, 1950

Dear plumber, Sir, I wait in vain
For you to come unstop my drain: —
You may break the Union rules ,
Make several trips back after tools,
Muddy up the steps and halls ,
Soil the kitchen floor and walls;
Deliberate, let down, relax,
Discuss the war, your income-tax,
The draft, the President, the sheriff–
What harm, old thing? I pay the tariff.
I’ll overlook your sins–I think–
If you’ll but come unplug my sink!

by Ray Romine Wednesday, February 7, 1945

O heavenly sound–
Just to hear it once more:
In my sink, How the Water
Goes Down At Lodore!

by Ray Romine Thursday, February 8, 1945

Shrewd was the man who saw this coming;
Who learned to do, and does , his plumbing!

by Ray Romine Thursday, February 8, 1945

I’ve said before; I’ll say again:
This job produces mostly pane.

by Ray Romine Sunday, August 5, 1951

At light switches and faucets my offspring scoff
As one-way affairs–and I don’t mean off.

by Ray Romine Wednesday, May 17, 1950

No How to Make It book will face
One problem living has inspired:
The way the need for storage space
Stays just ahead of what’s acquired!

by Ray Romine Friday, January 12, 1951

She washes all my socks with care,
And on the line disports them.
She dampens, irons , and checks for wear-
Then at the drawer assorts them.

by Ray Romine Wednesday, August 2, 1950