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This Is Tomb Much!

The attendant at the station said
My tires MIGHT last a year,
By checking pressure constantly,
By switching front and rear;

By slowing down for curves and such,
By having wheels aligned,
By watching for the nails and glass
That tires are sure to find;

By keeping down to thirty-five,
By no jack-rabbit starts,
By stopping oh-so-gradually
(One of the finer arts).

If following rules like this is all
That will our tires preserve,
I think we’d best get set to walk,
And Back-to-Na ture swerve.

Cars will be so scarce we’ll hear
(If you hate puns you’ll curse)
Theory of the earth-bound Zombie lad:
“MY KINGDOM FOR A HEARSE!”

• • • • • • • • •
When I see the fun. that driving is,
I’m bitter with remorse–
I should’ve foreseen this thing and made
A payment on a horse!

• • • • • • • • •
Driving’s gonna be SUCH fun!
Too little and late, of course,
I’ll take up Richard’s battle cry:
“MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE!

I’m not unpatriotic, and
It’s not my place to squawk–
But I think I’ll hunt a Junk-man up,
And learn, again, to WALK!

• • • • • • • • •
Now all. these things. may necessary be–
(But walking- sounds S0 SIMPLE now to me!

by Ray Romine Sunday, October 11, 1942

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The Pedestrian

That chap we cussed but yesterday–
We see his point of view today;
What he lacked then, today we’ve not–
What he had then, we wish we’d got.

For he at that time had no car,
(Exactly where, today, WE are!)
But he HAD acquired agility,
A life-saving ability,

And by the time that I catch on,
The cars, I s’pose, will ALL be gone!

by Ray Romine Tuesday, July 13, 1943

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Pedestrian

Leaping nimbly, leaping far,
Knowing where the loop-holes are,
Panting, praying, cursing, sighing,
Squeezing, dodging, diving, flying;
He lives in fear, and there’s a reason:
With him it’s always open season.

by Ray Romine Tuesday, February 26, 1952

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New Models

Statistics I have never learned,
Their over-all length, their wheelbases.
With just thing am I concerned:
How do they fit the parking spaces?

by Ray Romine Saturday, June 19, 1954

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New Car

All chrome and glitter, here I go,
Like some knight high up on his charger.
Proud and happy, well-pleased? No–
Wishing this car one size larger.

by Ray Romine Monday, January 26, 1953

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More On Pedestrians, 3 Versions

(1st one)
A pedestrian, in the Pre-war days,
Had no car for his labors;
Today, he’s one among the A’s,
Who’s dodging B-card neighbors.

(2nd one)
A pedestrian had, it used to be,
No auto for his labors;
Today he is a “B” or “C”
A-dodging “A-carred” neighbors!

(3rd one)
A pedestrian once was a fellow who had
No car he could show for his labor;
But now he’s a “B” or a “C” who’s not bad
At dodging his “A”-carded neighbor!

by Ray Romine Tuesday, July 13, 1943

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I’ll Bet They Miss Him At Home

A sound a shade this side of riot
Intrudes upon the evening quiet:
A noise they never heard in Hades,
Worse than wildly screaming ladies;
Worse than mutterings of rabble;
Loud as anything from Babel
From the street comes, over, under,
Irritating, man-made thunder.
What so well disrupts the calm?
Some horn-happy Beeping-Tom

by Ray Romine Saturday, June 14, 1952