When you wanted a turk in the good old days
You went right out and shot him–
Which is better by far than the present day way,
For you never know when you’ve got him!
by Ray Romine Sunday, January 1, 1933
Author: Ray Romine
Turkey
If I didn’t have to carve it
I might learn to larve it.
by Ray Romine Wednesday, September 16, 1953
Tufted Titmouse
Impertinence personified,
This tufted bit of pep and pride!
Like a human wolf, he cocks his eye
And whistles at each passerby.
by Ray Romine Sunday, May 3, 1953
Try That Blinds
I cannot see your brilliant wit–
If you could dim it just a bit…?
by Ray Romine Wednesday, October 18, 1950
Try And Stump Me
I hope they learn from who’s and why’s,
Like “Why’s the sun–who ‘re Bengal Lancers?”
My children’s daddy really tries,
But those kids get the weirdest answers!
by Ray Romine Sunday, April 5, 1953
Trunks Lines
Though the ladies try hard
To exhibit their torsos,
When a mere man goes swimming,
So very much more shows.
Yes, while she may outlive
The brute male–and out-lip him,
His mate can’t–it’s pathetic–
Quite ever outstrip him.
by Ray Romine Tuesday, January 27, 1953
Truman Vs. Mac.arthur
Appeasement–
Or squeezement?
by Ray Romine Friday, May 4, 1951
Truly, This Is Doggerel!
“My Best Friend”, I see they call him,
But he’s keeping me awake.
Cease, O Friend, thy endless barking–
Let me sleep, for heaven’s sake.
I can never work tomorrow
If I cannot sleep tonight;
I would try you on a riddle–
But a barkin’ dog won’t bite.
I would ask you most politely
That you shut up, but I’ve tried;
I would toss you forth a biscuit,
If I had some cyanide.
To blast you full of bullets
Tempts me more than I can tell,
But that’s noisy; and my arrows
In the dark don’t see so well.
I could still resort to reasoning
With your Master: I would, too–
Were I not convinced that he is
Muoh more stubborn yet than you.
Trouble is, your life’s too easy–
If for food you had to fight,
Day would find you tired by evening,
Then you’d MAYBE SLEEP AT NIGHT!
by Ray Romine Monday, June 21, 1943
True Confession Angle
Who objects to being passionate
So long as there’s sufficient cassionate?
by Ray Romine Thursday, September 22, 1949
Trousseau or Falso?
Headline: Hasty marriages, etc, etc .
With all my goods I thee endow;
And we shall live in clover.
I to matrimony bow–
I am a finished rover.
Uncross your fingers, dear, for now
The ceremony ‘s over!
OR:
HE:
With all my goods I thee endow;
And we shall live in clover.
I to matrimony bow–
I am a finished rover.
SHE:
I have no regret- –
You’re the best I could get–
For things are tough all over.
by Ray Romine Thursday, February 15, 1945