Invent an excuse to get out of the house;
Take heed or be sorry, old man,
For Flo is intent on a “fix-over” bent–
Best flee while you’re able and can.
Run or fly or swim, my dear fellow:
She’s doing the dining-room over in yellow!
She’s ogling the living room suite with that look–
With that slip-cover gleam in her eye;
It’s the gander that nets her the things that it gets her:
The prudent-type husband would fly!
You’d best flee the country–don’t come back at all:
For Flo is transforming the back bed-room hall.
“Just think what we’ll save if we do it ourselves”–
(Excluding, of course, your religion,
And the swear and the tear on your nails and your hair)–
It’s desert, or wake up a dead pigeon!!
I’ve warned you and warnea you, so, fellow, take heed .
A devil in need is a devil indeed!
You may not be skilful with needle ana thread,
With paint-brush, or hammer, or glue;
But you’ll swiftly discern that you always can learn,
And the deadline is imminent, too!
So scram for the border–which one doesn’t matter:
Just clear out, m’laddie, and having cleared, scatter.
Depend not on alibis–the same for your patter,
For Flo knows the former and sees through the latter.
No, it’s only in lamming that safety doth loom:
And that quickly, or find yourself LOCKED IN YOUR ROOM!
by Ray Romine Friday, September 24, 1943
